Bitte mein Anschreiben kritisieren!

Fragen aus der laufenden Arbeit an der Dissertation.
Literatursuche, Motivationsprobleme, Lehrtätigkeit, Ärger mit dem Prof u.v.m.
Gesperrt
evobio

Bitte mein Anschreiben kritisieren!

Beitrag von evobio »

Hallo

Ich wäre sehr froh um Rückmeldungen und Kritikpunkte zu meinem Anschreiben. Ich möchte den Text eigentlich direkt in eine E-Mail quetschen.Wahrscheinlich kürzungsbedürftig! Vorschläge wo?

“Prospective PhD student seeking to study biogeography and evolutionary biology“

Dear Dr. Jasmine,

I attended yours and Professor Aladin’s course “Species and Speciation“ in 2012, where I have very much enjoyed my course project on phylogenetic biome conservatism. I am now seeking for a PhD project in evolutionary biology, if required as a self-funded student. Your research field and the possible master projects listed on your XXX website corresponds very much my interests. Therefore I would like to inquire whether you have projects for which you are searching PhD students. Is there a possibility that the master projects on the list could be planned as PhD project?

I hold a master degree in ecology from the University of XXX and wrote my master thesis, supervised by Dr. Djini, on within-species diversification (in Rana temporaria) driven by anthropogenic environmental impacts. I’ve recently accomplished a research internship in the field of evolutionary ecology at ZZZ, where I analyzed genetic variation in silver fir (Abies alba) along environmental gradients as well as geographic patterns. I had the opportunity to present the results at the Coconut Conference 2013 at VVV.

I am seeking to do my PhD in a concept-driven group. Therefore I am generally interested in evolutionary mechanism and processes, adaptive potential and strategies of species/populations to altering environmental conditions, selective forces shaping traits, constraints in evolution, diversification, species concepts, phylogenetics and biodiversity.

During masters studies I have mainly gained experiences in quantitative genetics, ecological modeling and comparative studies in evolutionary biology. As an undergraduate student I have also very much enjoyed projects and courses in genomic evolution and phylogenetic analysis, as well as the use of molecular techniques and analysis (PCR, Sequencing, alignments etc.). I am highly motivated to do lab work and/or fieldwork, as well as statistical and modeling approaches.

I know you are very busy so I appreciate any time you can give me to discuss the possibility of doing a PhD under your supervision. If you need any information, which I did not provide in this mail, lease let me know.

Thank you in advance for your time.

Sincerely

Vielen vielen Dank schonmal :blume:
DoneXY

Re: Bitte mein Anschreiben kritisieren!

Beitrag von DoneXY »

Ich habe Dein Anschreiben nur überflogen und ich kenne mich nur wenig mit Bewerbungen im angelsächsischen Raum aus. Daher sind meine Anmerkungen mit Vorsicht zu genießen.

Ich gehe davon aus, dass auch im angelsächsischen Raum Emails für knappe Mitteilungen und Snail mail für ausführliche Texte bevorzugt werden. Daher: Email kurz und eigentliche Bewerbung in den Anhang. Hier solltest Du auch 1, 2 Empfehlungsschreiben beifügen.

Weitgehend alles nach dem ersten Absatz kannst Du Dir für eine Email schenken. Auch solltest Du Dein Englisch noch mal überarbeiten. Es klingt sehr holperig auch, weil Worte fehlen, bspw. schreibst Du "corresponds" statt "corresponds to".
Gesperrt